How to Let Go

4 minute read

Some quick updates:

  • This has been on my to-do list for the longest time, and it is at this time that I feel ready to commit to this. I’m going to launch a podcast & YouTube channel sometime in the beginning of April! Lately, I’ve been rethinking my current content strategy, and I believe that YouTube videos and podcasts are the main mediums in which I enjoy consuming and creating the most. I also think I will be able to create more valuable content as well as be able to upload them on a more consistent basis through these platforms moreso than blogging. I will still post on my blog whenever I have something to share, but most likely not weekly. However, I will be more so focused on YouTube & podcasting!

  • Also, if you or someone you know is interested in contributing to Thrive Global, please let me know and I’d love to get in touch with them!

Letting go.

This is something that I’ve struggled with for a very long time because it goes against the nature of who I am. I preach constantly about persisting even when times get tough, and well, letting go… it just honestly felt like it was the complete opposite of that.

For the longest time, letting go felt like I was giving up, that I had failed in some way, or that I wasn’t worthy. 

Letting go also isn’t easy, because a part of me always thinks, “What if I just keep on trying a little bit harder? Maybe it will work out.”

However, over the years, I have been reflecting and noticing consistent patterns in the outcomes of all of the times I have had to make any sort of decision about whether to let something go or remain as is.

I was able to come to a simple decision-making framework that I wanted to share with you all.

When do you decide that it is the time to let go?

Try your best, and when you’ve given it your all, let go.

Let me break this down. Whether you are deciding on whether to let go of a lover or friend, or whether or not you should push even harder during the internship recruiting process… whatever it is… I’ve noticed that this principle remains true to most, if not all, situations. 

Do what you can in your power to optimize your chances of doing well, and when you’ve felt like you have done everything that you can, it is time to let go. 

Don’t worry about the outcome. You’ve done everything in your power that you can. You cannot inflict more pain and anxiety on yourself when it is no longer in your control. And that’s okay, whatever happens, you’ll survive and be just fine.

On the other hand, if you felt like you haven’t given your all, then try again until the statement above is true for you. It’s quite simple. Try until you have tried enough where you won’t feel regret.

I’m someone who is extremely persistent when it comes to everything in my life, almost to a fault. I also hate feeling any sense of regret or wondering about the “what-if’s” of any situation; thus, I would rather do something and regret having done it, rather than not do something and wonder if I should have done it or not. The latter option would eat me up inside. However, I also have my own sense of pride, and I prefer to not lose face or over-invest my time and energy into something that no longer serves me or my happiness.

This framework works excellently for me because it allows me to be able to gain some sense of control and power over my thoughts and emotions, while still minimizing the feeling of regret. It takes a lot for me to let go, but when I do, I never look back. I never regret my decision, and I’m pretty much always confident in my choices. I’m also now able to focus on optimizing my growth and future rather than reminiscing the past. 

Over time, I’ve realized that letting go is not giving up or failing. In fact, I would argue that the art of learning to let go is just as important as holding on.

However, I don’t think it’s just enough to “want” to let things go. You have to acknowledge that you’re letting go of something real that deeply matters to you. You also have to acknowledge that whatever it is that you’re letting go of has been causing you suffering and pain, and it’s blocking you from enjoying real genuine happiness.

When you let go of whatever it is that is causing you more pain than joy, you make room for what can bring joy and happiness into your life.

I believe that the reason that prevents most of us from being able to let go can boil down to one of two things (or most likely, both). First, it is our fear. It is the fear that if we let go of this thing or whatever it is in your case, that we will not have something else to cling on to or find joy in. Secondly, it is our vision or narrowed-in perception of what we thought would bring us happiness. Most people choose to not let go because they don’t have enough context or experience to know what alternatives could actually make them happy. Thus, they choose to stick to what is comfortable and safe, not knowing that they are missing out on so much more in life. However, once we do have the experiences and insight needed, we can look at what does make us genuinely happy in our lives, compare it, and decide for ourselves.

Thinking about whether or not to let go also comes to another question. Ask yourself:

Does holding on so closely to this make me happier in any way?

Most often, the answer is no. It’s only a matter of whether people are willing to be honest with themselves about it.

I think it is when you gain the strength and determination to finally take steps towards letting go and healing, that is when you are able to let go of what no longer serves you. That is when you are able to take the steps on the path that is ultimately meant for you. When you hold onto what brings you pain, you miss out on what could bring you happiness.

And you want to know the sweetest thing about letting go? I’ve noticed from my experiences that it is actually when I let go of whatever it is that was causing me anxiety or pain, things somehow actually fall into place.

I hope you can use this decision-making framework and apply it in your own life. :) This is honestly something that I really do stand by and use constantly in my life, and I hope that it’ll be useful for you.

Keep growin’ and glowin’,